


Dog Toys and Dildos

by TP3319



Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: (but there's more to come), M/M, My First Work in This Fandom, Not explicit really, just a fun one-shot, mentioning of sex toys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:39:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24719155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TP3319/pseuds/TP3319
Summary: Tommy forgot his dildo and wants to buy a new one but the sex shop is closed. Luckily, there's a pet shop nearby, with phallic dog toys and one sexy cashier.
Relationships: Tommy Shelby/Alfie Solomons
Comments: 8
Kudos: 40





	Dog Toys and Dildos

**Author's Note:**

> So, I've recently been at a pet shop and there was this fairly flustered bloke buying a rather phallic dog toy in front of me at 8 pm on a Saturday so it got me thinking... Inspiration really does come from strangest places, doesn't it?
> 
> Anyway, this is my first fic in this fandom but I am in the process of writing a longer-form and more serious fic that will be coming in the (hopefully near?) future.

Fuck. If only I'd known Polly would take the kids out of town for the weekend, I would've packed my fucking dildo. But I didn't. So here I am, trying desperately to reach SOMETHING with my fingers, but it's just not the same. It feels so pathetic, compared to Chester, my trusted seven inch blue silicone dildo. That I left back in London.

Fuck this shit. I pull out my fingers and start wanking instead. It's not even comparable but it gets the job done, at least enough for me to get down to mall and buy me a Chester 2.0.

The cold Saturday evening wind wakes me up from my horny haze and I almost turn and go back inside but then again, I’ve already dressed myself up, I might as well. As I walk to the mall, my thoughts are treading a narrow line between thinking about sex and thinking about anything but. Just a few minutes, then I’ll be back on my bed, a brand new dildo in my ass.

The sex shop is conveniently placed right at the entrance. A lot of late night emergency purchases, I reckon. Including myself right now. The mall closes in fifteen minutes but I don’t plan on being choosy. Anything long and phallic will do.

Except the store is fucking closed. The security grille is covering up the entrance and there’s a hand-written sign that just says CLOSED. Fuck. I instinctively reach out to the grille to shake it but I stop myself. This is my local mall. I don’t want to be known as the guy who tried to break into the sex shop. I stand in front of the closed shop, realization catching up with me. I’ve gotten this idea of a new dildo engraved into my head and somehow I can’t come to terms with the fact that I can’t have that right now. It’s just a fucking dildo but right now I’d kill for one.

‘He just won’t stop chewing on his toys, you know? I have to buy new ones every week,’ I hear someone say in the background as they’re leaving the mall. My eyes land on the store next door. A small private pet shop. That sells rubber dog toys. Fuck it.

I grab the first phallic shaped thing I find. It’s a clear bone shaped thing, not as big as Chester but it’ll do the job. I try to find the material but I give up. I reckon, if it’s safe enough for dog’s mouth, it’s safe enough for my asshole. I just hope it doesn’t squeak.

I go to the counter, but it’s empty. For a moment, I just want to take the toy and leave without paying but then the cashier shows up. An absolute hunk of man, beard I couldn’t grow in a year and he’s carrying a bunch of bags of dog food.

‘I’ll be with you in a second, mate,’ he says and takes the dog food somewhere in the back. Fuck, he’s sexy. Though, that might just be my horny brain.

‘Alright, what have we got?’ the cashier asks when he gets back. Alfie, his name tag says. I push the toy toward him and blush. For fuck’s sake. It’s just a dog toy.

‘Never seen you in here before. A new dog?’ Alfie asks. I really wasn’t prepared for small talk so I just make an affirmative sound.

‘What’s their name?’ the cashier asks then and finally scans the product.

‘Ummm… Chester,’ I panic. It’s not that weird of a name for a dog, at least.

‘Have you got any pics?’ Alfie asks then and hands the bone back to me.

‘Ummm… What?’ I stumble. Mentioning pictures in my current state of mind doesn’t compute well.

‘Pictures of the dog. I have a wall of all my costumer’s dogs,’ Alfie explains and motions behind him to a bulletin board full of dog pictures. It’s kinda cute. He’s cute. Fuck.

‘No. I don’t have any pictures yet. I just got him from the breeder so…’ I try to explain and start moving away.

‘A breeder? He’s a puppy, then?’ Alfie asks. Why is he asking so many questions? Just let me go home and stick a dog toy in my ass.

‘I guess?’ I answer. I don’t even care if he starts to suspect something.

‘Well, then you should really buy a different toy. This one’s for aggressive chewers and it’s too big for a puppy,’ Alfie says. He’s a fucking aggressive chewer. He walks around the counter and takes the toy away from me.

‘It’s okay. It’s really not that important,’ I try to protest but Alfie’s already walking back with another toy. It’s similar but fucking smaller. Too fucking small.

‘Teeth development is extremely important with young dogs,’ he replies and puts the new toy in a bag.

‘Alright, I’m taking both then. For, you know, when he grows up,’ I intercept. Alfie looks at me sideways but he scans both items.

‘As you wish. You should really get to know your dog more before you start buying him more toys,’ he comments as he hands me the bag. I know exactly the kind of toys by dong wants, thank you very much. I hand him the money, take the bag and turn to leave the shop.

‘And don’t forget the picture the next time you come round,’ Alfie calls after me.

Fuck, that was a bad idea. I stop by a streetlight to gather my composure and light a cigarette but I can’t stop thinking about him. Maybe I really should get a dog. Then I’d have an excuse to see him.

'So what breed is Chester?' I hear behind me. Fuck.

'I'm not sure. A mut. Apparently, some stray fucked the breeder's bitch. He wasn't too happy about it,' I lie. It's easier now that the dog toy/dildo isn't in front of me.

'That tends to happen a lot. Some breeders don't even put out the adds, right, they just fucking chuck the pups into trash and move on. Some pretentious pricks apparently see dogs getting knocked up by strays as a sign of a bad breeder,' Alfie comments. I finish the cigarette and push it on the bin ashtray.

'Yeah, it's sad,' I agree and start walking away. I like dogs as much as the next guy but I won't stand here and lament over the breeding practices.

'In what direction are you going?' Alfie asks, walking after me. A part of my brain reminds me of stranger danger but I shut it down. Alfie doesn't really seem dangerous and there's still people about. And there's another part of me that's really starting to enjoy his company and hoping for more. I shut that down too.

'Just up to Garrison Lane,' I answer.

'Good, I'm on Crown Road,' Alfie answers and I nod. That's close.

'We could go on a walk together sometime. You, Chester, me and Cyril. He's a mastiff, a fucking lazy cunt of a dog but I love him to bits,' Alfie suggests.

'We'll see,' I give him a vague answer. The idea of me and Alfie, walking around Birmingham with our dogs sounds really fucking amazing. Too bad I don't have a dog and Polly will probably flip if I get one. I could claim I found it in a bin somewhere. She can't say no to that, she has a heart.

'You know, people really have a distorted perception of mastiffs, right. Big breeds in general. As if they're aggressive and dangerous, yeah, when in reality, they're really just big slobber producing machines,' Alfie starts monologuing. By the time we get to my place, I know more about mastiffs than I ever intended to.

'Alright, this is my place,' I say as I stop a few houses before we get there. Can't be too careful. 

'By the way, what's your name, sweetheart?' Alfie asks nonchalantly, as if calling random strangers 'sweetheart' isn't creepy at all.

'Tommy,' I answer and Alfie nods.

'So, Tommy, do you mind if I go in with you? Just to see your pup, right, it’s been a while since Cyril was one,’ Alfie asks, his gaze holding mine defiantly. I’m starting to get the feeling he doesn’t really care about the dog. Not that much, at least. And boy, would I like to indulge him but I can’t really hide the fact that there is no dog and that leaves the lingering question of what the fuck are the dog toys for. But then again, it’s not like I’m ever going to speak to the guy again. Fuck it.

‘Listen, Alfie, there is no dog,’ I confess. His expression turns from seductive to confused. He doesn’t comment and he seems to be waiting for me to elaborate.

‘I got horny and realized I forgot my dildo in my student dorm so I came down to the mall to buy a new one. Well, it turns out the sex shop is closed,’ I blurt out before I can change my mind. It takes Alfie a few second to connect the dots before he starts laughing. It’s a high-pitched, almost giggly laughter that I wouldn’t expect from a bloke like him. It’s almost contagious and I would’ve laughed if it weren’t for the awkwardness of the situation.

‘Are you serious?’ Alfie asks, tears in his eyes.

‘Well, I’m not sure I would’ve used it really. I was just horny,’ I try to defend myself. To be fair, the idea of a dog toy in my ass has stopped sounding appealing about the time I bought it. Alfie collects himself and then looks at me, still smiling. Well, at least he’s not running away or calling me a filthy degenerate.

‘I think I have something that’d fit in there a little better,’ Alfie proposes, that dark glint back in his eyes. Fuck. I did not expect the night to go the way it’s going but I’m not complaining.

‘I don’t know, I’m kinda curious about the toy now,’ I tease but we both know the bag will be forgotten the moment we get to my room.

‘We can work with that,’ Alfie comments and winks. I get up to the doors and unlock them, my hands shaky. I am so getting a dog, I think as I lead Alfie up to my room.


End file.
